{"product_id":"nine-lives-zero-paperwork-paperback","title":"Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork - Paperback","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: right;\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/reportcopyrightinfringement.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eReport copyright infringement\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eKysa Steele\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: \"You missed the turnoff.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt gets worse from there.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead, he rescued a reality-warping cat from the vacuum of space, became wanted in nine sectors, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cat's name is Brentley. He's a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and possibly the most wanted being in three sectors. He's also Jarik's new passenger. Whether Jarik likes it or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow they're being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing-a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork.\u003c\/strong\u003e Their lead agent? Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBetween zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik discovers that the universe's rules are more like suggestions.\u003c\/strong\u003e Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. And the Bureau has \u003cem\u003eseventeen different forms\u003c\/em\u003e for \"harboring a fugitive familiar.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen Brentley's past catches up to them in the form of a Leviathan-class enforcement frigate, Jarik faces a choice: \u003c\/strong\u003e spend the rest of his life filing paperwork in triplicate, or embrace the chaos and become the galaxy's most wanted transportation provider.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cat already filed the paperwork. Mentally. Jarik's complicit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNINE LIVES, ZERO PAPERWORK\u003c\/strong\u003e is the first book in the \u003cem\u003eNine Lives, Infinite Lies\u003c\/em\u003e series-a comedic science fiction adventure featuring: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA cat who survives vacuum and lies with impunity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSpace bureaucrats more dangerous than pirates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA corgi inspector with a badge and a martyr complex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero-G slapstick involving haunted mayonnaise\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne very unfortunate cargo hauler who just wanted a quiet life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePaperwork. So much paperwork.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCosmic comedy where bureaucracy meets chaos. Start reading today.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 152\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.35 x 8.5 x 5.5 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\n            \u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e February 21, 2026\u003c\/div\u003e\n            ","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47761174233142,"sku":"9781971434001","price":23.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0754\/4569\/8614\/files\/m5G6F6cT0A9781971434001.webp?v=1789606304","url":"https:\/\/outerrealmbooksbeyond.com\/products\/nine-lives-zero-paperwork-paperback","provider":"Outer Realm Books \u0026 Beyond","version":"1.0","type":"link"}